(no subject)

[the_elyan]

As some of you will have noticed, I have been intermittently posting entrants for Worst Lyrics In The World ... Ever! I was pleased to see that the virus has sperad and clarisinda has submitted a very creditable entry.

However, on the way to work this morning, I was reminded of a vital fact I had somehow ignored.

Ladies and gentleman, the cushion lies empty. The crown was taken a long time ago, and nothing will ever wrest it back. There are many pretenders to the crown of Worst Lyric in the World ... Ever! But there is only one king.

I give you:

Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey (4x)

/ Am - Dm E / :

There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

/ Am - Dm Am / E - - Am / :
/ Am - - - / Dm - E - / Am - - - / Dm E Am - /

{Refrain}
Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

/ A C D A / G D A - / :

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the Czar
But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son

{Refrain}

{Spoken}
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
for power became known to more and more people,
the demands to do something about this outrageous
man became louder and louder.

Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey (4x)

"This man's just got to go," declared his enemies
But the ladies begged, "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us," they kept demanding
And he really came

{As Refrain}
Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and said "I feel fine"

Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead

{Spoken} Oh, those Russians...

[I always worry, when listening to something really appalling on my headphones, that an Avatar of thr Aklmighty will walk up to me on the street and point out my crime to the world. Not that I'm paranoid or anything...]