Oh dear... [and oh arrrr...]

For some reason, in the teeming ferment (or, given the time, the sluggish ooze) of my brain, I just started redarfting the "What a piece of work is Man" speech from Hamlet as a piece of music-hall audience participation, possibly delivered by Leslie Crowther, with appropriate props...

Hamlet: "I have of late, but wherefore I ... I ... er ...
Audience: "YOU KNOW NOT?"
Hanlet: "That's it, I know, not - I've lost my mirth! have you seen it, madam? Is it under your chair, sir?"
Audience: "NO!"
Hamlet: "Oh well. And I have this custom of exercise. What should I do with it?"
Audience: "FORGO IT!"
Hamlet: "If you say so. Perhap it'll make my disposition less heavy!"
Audience: dissolve into helpless mirth, some requiring stretchers
Hamlet: "But seriously, folks. This Earth here - what would you say it is?"
Audience: "IT'S A GOODLY FRAME!"
Hamlet: "Oh no it isn't!"
Audience: "Oh yes it is!"
Hamlet: "OH NO IT ISNT'T!"
Audience: "WELL, WHAT IS IT THEN?"
Hamlet: "It's a hygienic pier ... sorry, I meant a ... sterile promontory!"

And so on. Just ait until he requests a volunteer from the audience: "I'll need a Man ... yes, just like you, Sir ... and preferably he should be a real piece of work"

I have no doubt that the ADC, in one of their infamous pantos, have already done this, or if not that they will soon.

Unless I'm getting flash-forwards to how Tennant will keep the less rapt parts of the audience entertained...

ETA: such an entertainer would also, were he doing this today, have to fit in a few Arrrrr's as well. Talk hearty...

Late piracy

Even my boss discivered it was International Talk Like A Pirate Day, and not from me. Being my boss, he pointed out that the whole "Arrrr..." thing was actually impersonating Robert Newton, who made up the whole Pirate-Speak sound for a film. But then, by his own admission, my boss is a Grumpy Old Man ... and a surprisingly entertaining one.

Pirates steal stuff, right? So my tribute to the Day is by stealing other people's stuff, mainly from languagelog:

The Ergonomic Keyboard For Pirates

Teaching how to talk like a pirate - in Lego

And - just like every year - We Wants A Training Day! (click on link marked "Pirate Training Needs")